As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to make you turned on at the most inappropriate of times.
I suck at texting unless I am in a relationship with you You are my mom I need something Me and you are close as fuck
strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no
claydols: ugh no one reblogs my selfies. i got put in the likezone
mixedbyziggy: rescue three white women who have been missing for a decade, and a baby become a national hero pull and even bosser move and tell the fbi to give the reward money to the victims media decides to dig into your past, and bring up your criminal record. wonderful time to be black in america.
amoying: it takes two to have anal, that’s why it’s called an anus
cokeflow: mirandasexnoise: greg0ry: nicki minaj is 30 how she was born 30 years ago
lizthefangirl: malec-lightwood: alldaymayday: samyulle: don’t you hate it when you’re reading a chapter and then it’s coming to its climax and omg what’s gonna happen, then woops, your eyes dart to the last line and you spoil yourself and hate yourself for it EVERY. SINGLE. BOOK. EVERY.SINGLE. CHAPTER. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
When I see a joke on Tumblr:
When I see the same joke on Facebook:
a-dr0p-of-golden-sun: Today I asked my mom how my dad proposed to her, since I realized that I didn’t know. Apparently, she just called him up one day and said “are we getting married or what?” and he told her he couldn’t afford it so she took her mom to a jewelry store and made her mom buy her a ring and then told my dad they were engaged… I don’t know what I was expecting.
allthedamngoodurlsweretaken: inbox: geomtery: poop is boob upside down its actually dood But if you reflect it across the x-axis, geometry is correct.
If you laugh, you lose →
alliej0315: laughcentre: revolve: zachlilley: page seven got me…beat that lol i lost at 3 tbh AAHAHAHHA lost it at the first page Lol page 10 BEAT THAT
sodamnrelatable: “lets be friends” i whisper as i like all your text posts
aquify: why don’t you guys ask me questions like are you even curious about me do you wanna know my middle name my last name my favorite color my favorite movie my netflix account information the hospital i was born my social security number my blood type when i sold my soul to satan
sluttyoliveoil: once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”
0m: You give me a boner not a penis boner but a boner in my heart a heart on, an affection erection
This is how the rain looks like when you're up...
dylandoe: sadisticmagidan: BEST PHOTO IN EXISTENCE. I love how it’s only over that town, like Nature decided to just fuck their day up. it looks like a jellyfish.
lady-socrates: alongcameatom: daintylolihime: don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem and makes you a shitty person lets be honest here how many parents do you think are on tumblr? the question is: how many FUTURE parents are...